there was a moment of supposed meaning

between your eyes and mine

and so it turns out that the wine accidentally

gives us intentions.

and as i reached our shared understanding

saw you stand aside and it was my eyes

that were betrayers.

we spoke phone words, mobile

and angry

in the end i no longer was a text target

but i knew that going into this

your hair is much too beautiful to be seen with me

as i am taller and older 

than i seem

but i am thankful for my sunny disposition

it has provided me with several jobs

and a warm place to drink.

i hang my tshirt on the door

forgetting that it does not blend with the furniture

absently shouting obscenities

at no one, really, because who can keep track?

the bathroom door clicks shut on another

two hours of soaking away the thoughts.

blurry underwater vision of social blunders

now associated with my name and face

i never claimed to be adept at this

and that has been affirmed often.

i look at my empty hand and remember

yours near it - another missed chance

your hands are now warmed by someone else’s gloves.

and on those cold days when my fingers 

turn blue with embarrassment,

thinking: what made them grasp so 

blindly when it was clear

there is more sense to grip a pole.

it gives support.