on the anniversary of my father’s passing, october 26, 2005

_______

we are all waiting to die

my feet begin to feel numb

no one is thinking of me

fading here

_______

sunlight-filled voices outside

but not visible

dreamy semi consciousness

morphine enhanced to pleasantry

_______

can’t smell myself

but see noses wrinkle

as they enter

the sick zone

_______

piss and spit and sleep

worn sheets

carpet needs vacuuming

by someone

_______

trivialities

disconnecting me

from awareness

simple slipping blackness

_______

and cold ground to

greet the ashes

i’m thinking flowers

and faces clustered above

_______

losing me is not so sudden

anticipated

no one expects the expected

infant to adult

_______

if we last that long

everything withers eventually

and blood accompanies some of it

but not here

_______

as afternoon passes

and dusk nears

a final sigh

and i am clear